Self-doubt and how to overcome it
When self-doubt creeps in, don't just accept it as truth.
I told my friends recently that I am dealing with what feels like my most intense bolt of imposter syndrome ever. Many big things are happening for me this year, and every time a new opportunity enters my inbox, the excitement is always laced with a little bit of self-doubt. I am lucky, though, because, over the years, I have built a toolbox to help me overcome self-doubt and ensure that I do not believe what my fear tells me.
Today, I will share that toolbox with you. You don't need to use all the tools whenever you feel doubtful of your brilliance or feel like an imposter or a fraud; sometimes, only one tool works, and sometimes, it is a combination.
Own your success: When you feel like you are not good enough or capable enough is when you need to open your brag file, take out your resume, read out your long bio and remind yourself of what you are great at and all the fantastic things you have accomplished. You are where you are today because you have put in the work. Own it!
Stop comparing: Never compare yourself with another person. Everyone's journey is different. When you feel like a fraud, check; it might be because you are looking at other people and then feeling like you are not good enough to occupy the same space or to have the same accolades. Or you are telling yourself that you are not as qualified as the others in the room. Stop comparing. It doesn't matter who the other people in the room are; what matters is that you are there, and someone thought you deserved to be there. Focus on that. Focus on yourself.
Focus on your value, not perfection: Watch this video, where I talked about learning to let go of our need to control every possible outcome and instead focus on doing our best work. It works when you are filled with self-doubt, too; at those times, you are probably overthinking and not sure how to make that opportunity play out perfectly. You can't control many things, so instead of focusing on perfection, focus on value. Focus on your message, not the perception.
Raise your self-awareness: I don't just go from feeling like a fraud to feeling like the best thing since sliced bread; no, I also use the opportunity to investigate and challenge the negative thoughts. When I take notice of the negative talk in my head, I ask myself, "Is there evidence for this thought?". Many times, there isn't, and so I counter with all the positive arguments I have. Sometimes, though, I find that there are some facts behind my fear, but instead of escalating it and making it the whole truth, I first practise self-compassion. Then, I make a plan to mitigate the fear; sometimes, that means committing to getting more knowledge, working a few more hours so I can prepare better and feel more confident, or asking for support so I can deliver on time. I make a plan and never let the negative thoughts become my truth. Self-awareness is critical.
Surround yourself with great people: This was the hack that worked the best for me during my recent meltdown. I told my friends, "This opportunity is making me feel like a fraud", and bruh, in seconds, I was filled with lots and lots of affirming words. When I couldn't remind myself of my baddestry, my friends reminded me. You won't always have the strength to do the work yourself. That is why having the best people in your life matters; in times like that, they can be the light that draws you out of the darkness.
Finally, don't give into fear. When self-doubt creeps in, don't just accept it as truth.
I hope this helps. You have got this!